What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
