Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize