I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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