did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
