May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
