She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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