I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
