there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
