She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize