I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
