he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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