ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
