Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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