I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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