He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
