This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Two words: blizzard sex
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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