she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
