tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
