This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
