yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
