before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
