why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
