Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
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It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
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The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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