Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
