You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
