Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
