In the future we'll all be gay
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just googled if crying burns calories
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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