ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
