Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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