Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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