Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
