how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You can't just leave with hair like that
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
