im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize