Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
