It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
