i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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