i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
