i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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