Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it's like iHOP with fire
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
