Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This toilet bowl is my home.
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