How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
