Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
