well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
