what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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