ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
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Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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