sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
