I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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