bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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