She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize