my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
