The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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