just tell him i said nine months
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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