I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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