Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
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Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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