and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You took a bar mat shot.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
