for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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