Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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