It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
