Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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