why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he was CRYING into my vagina
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
